He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
one might say we're banned from that church
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
