Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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