Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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