A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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