Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
