Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
