My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
