Redeem this text for a blowjob
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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