I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
