Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
