somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
well most of my day revolves around power hour
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
