She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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