Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
