Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
