yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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