I'm sorry my penis didn't work
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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