Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
