I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
The best revenge is premature balding
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
