May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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