and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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