There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
