I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
