I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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