Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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