Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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