So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
