They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I party with great urgency now.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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