Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
