Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Randomize
