I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
