Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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