Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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