Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
