My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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