I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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