I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
