looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
