why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
