Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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