he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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