That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
