hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I have tasted many bathrooms
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
