She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
All the doctor said was why
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
