physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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