she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
