There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
