But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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