So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
