i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
