I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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