i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
