I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
