is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize