Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
