U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I love having hate sex.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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