after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
