worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
