yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Too much gin, very little bucket
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
