i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
