My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Randomize
