May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Randomize
