shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
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