I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
