Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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