at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
