Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
i think im in europe. pls send help
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
