My first STD was from a foam party
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
